Farewell to a postdoc

Gab is going to be leaving us next week. He has been in the lab for 9 years, first as a grad student and then as a postdoc. That is just nuts. I cannot imagine being in a single lab for that long. But he finally got a job in Naples and will be leaving us after the sea urchin meeting. It took us a long time to plan the parting festivities, partly because of the impending meeting contributing to added stress amongst us. We managed to convince Ping to plan the parting dim sum lunch after her little party faux pas in the coffee room, and EHD will be attending so perhaps he will foot the bill :P Then M I guess felt bad about not doing anything at all as a roommate, so she wants to plan a little reception at the urchin meeting, and after a little discussion, we decided on a gift for him. Each person will contribute a song with an inscription for a CD that we will custom make for him. Someone I got stuck with the job of making the insert and the cover. I didn't really want to spend all that time but I agreed partly because Gab had always been a really good friend to me and had helped me through a lot of tough times. And after T left in Jan I am once again losing a friend. Good thing that V probably will be here till next summer, by then which I hope to be gone. I think I made a pretty cool cover, with a really embarassing picture of Gab, but it looked like a rock band album, which was what I intended it to be. My song choice will be something I sang, either the "Irish Lullaby" at a performance with the Glee Clubs or Schubert's "Ave Maria" from T's wedding, if I can get a copy of that. My personal present for him will be a collection of all the concerts which I have CDs for. Took some photoshop skills but I am able to replicate the recordings I have, which I think he will appreciate as they are not available in stores and he likes classical music.

Finally did my taxes today. If I waited till I come back from the meeting it would be cutting it way too close, and messing with the IRS is never a good thing.

Gab's CD Cover 

Crazy Kitty

I called the UC Davis vet school to schedule a clinic for Atticus today. Last night he went crazy at Momo again. Wawa is here visiting now that my parents are on vacation, so she probably added to the stress. I'm not sure what I can do to stop his sudden attacks, which I can tell stresses Momo out. Not to mention that he has also become aggressive towards me during his crazy kitty moments. Makes me scared to even go to my room when he is nuts like that. The clinic is rather expensive--$225 for a 2 hour session with a 3 month follow up. But these people are vets specialising in animal behavior, so they know what they are doing, not just some quack who calls himself an animal behaviorist.

Am not in the mood to work today. Ever have those days whem you just don't feel like doing anything. It's one of those days for me. On the list for this week--get poster for the SU meeting done, prep BAC DNA for injection, QPCR on embryos from last week, paper outline for EHD.

Had a rather long discussion with EHD last friday. He's been very busy recently, with the SU meeting coming up and the revision of his book in the works. But we had a good chat. He had suggestions for some experiments I should do with the new data I got, and there were definitely things I hadn't thought of. So it was a good discussion. He also thinks that I should write a paper on the work I have done so far with Otx and my cis-regulatory elements. I hate writing papers, but I realise that papers are the currency in this field. I guess I don't really HATE writing, but the inertia is so great that it's hard for me to get started. Once I get the juices flowing however, it is not that bad.

Called the choir today to schedule my audition time with Rae and to tell her that I will participate in the performance of Beethoven's 9th at Walt Disney Concert Hall. It was a really experience performing the 9th with the LA phil last summer/winter, and I look forward to it again, this time with the Korean/American sypmphony. The audition I'm not looking forward to. I know the goal is just to see how we are progressing and not to weed people out, but the idea of having to sight read a music passage really makes me nervous, mostly because I suck at it. Granted, I'm a lot better now then I used to be, but still.....most people are better than me. Guess I should have paid more attention during those piano lessons :P

Seeing I am not going to get anything done today, I will go shopping for a new bag and then a run...hee hee

Free Lunch

I definitely am still a graduate student, or at least I display one of the phenotypic traits of one--never forgo a free lunch.
Larry Zipursky was here giving a seminar today. I had the opportunity to have lunch with him, a chance I promptly grabbed. After all, how can one turn down a free lunch at the faculty club. So as usual I stuffed myself with plenty of food and dessert, leaving me rather sleepy from the sugar high for the rest of the afternoon. The company was nice. Meeting other students for lunch somehow made me realise that my life is perhaps not so bad after all. We all have our woes, and somehow it's good to see that others have problems too. I met a third year who wants to graduate. Now I know that I'm not nuts.

Off for KB class. Just hope that I don't get wet on my way to the parking structure. Looks like it is pouring out there.

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The plan

I was thinking on my way back from visiting Eric today about my PhD progress again.
What's new?
I was thinking of the inevitable prospect of my brother moving out of the house we are in now, either because he gets into grad school (in which case he will leave to pursue his studies) or he doesn't get into grad school (and has to look for a new job, possibly in another city). Whichever the outcome, it might mean that he will be gone come june to september.
Which begs another question? Where will I live? Now I can stay in the same house by myself and fork out the $1250 a month for rent. Certainly that is not idea and will be a significant amount of money, but I can probably do it under a really tight budget.
The real question then becomes--when will I be able to get my degree and get out of here?
Well, I think optimistically I will be able to finish at the end of the year. If that is the case then I will just suck it up and pay the rent for a few months. Moving to a new place would require signing a new lease for a year, which I do not want to do in my current position. Not to mention having to find a place that would take cats and the actual move itself. Of course I could get a roommate, but that's a pain in the ass. I don't really want to live with someone I don't know at all. Now that I am older I just don't need to expend my energy in such ways. A roommie that works well would be great, but this person would have to like cats and be easygoing. I don't like to live with friends (because I would like to stay friends with them) and living with strangers--well you know the risk.
So the more I think about it the most comfortable solution for me would be to finish by the end of the year.
So there it is. I will work as hard as I need to be done by year's end. It's not a guarantee but one needs a goal. And it is not an entirely unrealistic one. It would be a good time, to end a year with a degree.
I will make a list of all the experiments I will need to do and discuss it with EHD. See what he says and talk to the other members of my committee. I need to have a committee meeting in May/june anyway so it can be a pre-meeting of sorts.
It's good to have a goal. Now I can channel all the negative I feel that I had been accumulating recently into something positive instead of just wallowing in self misery.

Murphy Brown is on DVD. I am quite excited! I loved that show in my journalist wannabe days. Now that seemed like a lifetime ago. Funny how life takes you in unexpected ways.

Baby Guppies

I came home last night to be pleasantly surprised by the appearance of a few baby guppies in the breeder I put in the tank. This morning there were a few more. As of the time I left for work I had 8 guppies left in the breeder. A couple got eaten (I think) and one was quite dead looking. I should transfer them to a different setup later.

Will take a trip down to SD to visit Eric. It would be good to see him and hang out, even if it's for half a day. I think that the distance between us has put a damper on my general mood. I have been way too whiny and bitchy recently. We plan to go to the Fish Market for dinner. Really nice restaurant. Just hope I can get there in time before they close!

Chatted to Shells last night. She's not too happy with her postdoc situation, but she has always worked hard and prevailed so I'm sure she will do so again. Her and H thought about starting a family, but life is too hectic at the moment.

Crappy sea urchins

Why is it that experiments never work the way they are supposed to? It seems that every time I try and work hard by doing more experiments in a given day there is an equal and opposing force (not unlike newton's third law I suppose) that prevents that from happening? Like yesterday, I decided to inject 2 females instead of one. Was tired as a dog, then arrived this morning to discover that embryos are not good. Probably because I injected too much RNA. I might be able to salvage one of the experiments, but the other set was completely screwed up. So now instead of doing a different experiment tomorrow I will have to repeat the one on monday. Crap. Yes stuff like that makes me a little crabby. Couple that with news that so and so's advisor is letting them graduate with having done less work really doesn't improve my mood. Yes I know life is not fair and I should focus on what I'm doing. But still doesn't make me feel good.

V is at Carnegie Mellon for an interview.

Miles ran: 5

Saw this really cute dress at jcrew.com. Am tempted to buy it, but often these things dont' really fit me and I have to return them anyway. Besides, i have a lot of clothes. On the other hand, a girl can never have too many outfits (or purses for that matter).

End of quantitative life

Today was the last session of EHD's quantitative life course. Roger and I are both admittedly relieved, but overall it was a good class. I don't think I have seen that many differential equations since my college days! Now I can get my friday afternoons free, which is always a good thing.

Went for my usual 5 mile run yesterday. First run this week. Really getting to be a slacker these days. Nothing like a race for motivation. The LA marathon was last sunday. I was asleep and so missed the whole thing, which was probably a good thing. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten too depressed thinking that I should have been there as well. Gilberto ran it in 4 1/2 hours--a pretty good job I would say.

The weekend lies ahead, which will consist of cleaning my turtle tupperware, cleaning my fishtank, grocery shopping and other errands.

This is Amanda, Jane's baby. Isn't she adorable. Looks just like Bill! 

Eric came by for lunch today, which was very nice. I hadn't seen him for a week and a half. It kind of stinks that he is now down in San Diego working since I don't get to see him a whole lot, but I guess things could be worse.

Veronica got a job at the university of Colorado. I always knew that she was going to do well, and I still think that she will be one of the most successful postdocs from my lab. It's good to hear that others are doing well. Most days now I wonder if this is the right path for me. Am I going to succeed? Not just getting any old job (even that IS hard nowadays), but to actually be good, to be known in the field. But when I see others doing well it gives me hope that it will be possible for me as well. Michele said that she had felt that way in grad school too, so perhaps such emotions are normal. T is really cynical these days. I wonder if that is a prerequisite for graduation. Regardless, I have many good friends in the lab, and for that I am grateful. It makes the days go by a lot easier.

Went to lunch today at Avery to celebrate Julie's birthday.
I like what they have done with it. It is now a casual dining restaurant, but with really decent prices. I had a duck leg simmered with merlot and creme brulee for dessert. Food is a little on the heavy side, but where else can you go on at Caltech for a good meal at such a price?
Even the cafeteria comes close if you buy a soda with your meal.
But I am rather full now......good thing I am going kick boxing tonight. Will need to burn off all the extra calories that I had consumed somehow.

That dominant negative Su(H) experiment is really driving me nuts. AR has a new construct that is supposed to work better, and it does, about a 2 fold better, but really still doesn't work well enough. So I spend a week doing an experiment and it turns out the effect I need wasn't seen in (of course), the most crucial data sets. Oh well, Murphy's law I guess. Now I get to make more RNA and try it again. But perhaps I have finally gotten a handle on this problem. We'll see.

Recently I have been in contact with some old classmates, from my days at St Nicks and NJC. Funny, I am not entirely sure why, but it sure is good to hear from people from you past and to know that they are all successul etc. Perhaps it validates my existence? Who knows? But I like to know that all is well in their lives. And all the shared memories. Even with people who weren't really my friends back in the day, there is a connection from having shared experiences from my really young days....

Perhaps it is time to start anew