Wordplay

The Washington Post Mensa Invitational
The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners.

1.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13.
Glibido: All talk and no action.

14.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
18.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.